IT'S RARE THAT WE HAVE THUNDERSTORMS IN LOS ANGELES SO THIS MORNING I WAS CAUGHT OFF GUARD.
Me: I'm glad I got in here before the rain started. You know how these people drive in rain around here.
(I announced to my coworkers as I came into the office. And then a Kaboom of thunder ricocheted like a bomb behind me.)
(I screamed and dropped my tea on the floor. I felt a tinge of sadness come over me as I watched my sweet sweet caffeine spread out across the wooden slats at my feet.)
Bossman Rick: Well that's dramatic. Who throws tea at a little bit of rain?
Me: That scared the crap out of me. Thank your lucky stars I only dropped my tea. And it isn't just rain. Did you hear that?
Mary C: Ahhhhhh!
(She screamed and threw her pen as her hands rushed to her face to cup her mouth. Bossman stared at her with squinted eyes.)
Bossman Rick: You all need to get a grip on yourselves.
(A few mins later the biggest bolt of lighting and thunder boom of them all happened. Kaaaaabooom! The Bossman spilled his coffee on his desk, Mary C grabbed her hair and screamed for Jesus, my assistant clutched her computer keyboard to her chest like a comfort toy while her eyes bulged like a pair of oranges and I jumped up, clapped my hands and screamed "We're all gonna die!"
....a few moments of silence passed. You could hear the soft patter of rain in the background. Then...)
Bossman: I trust that we all don't need to mention this occurrence outside of this office, right?
(He sopped up the coffee spill from his desk with a roll of paper towels.)
Me: Oh sure. Sure. I've got a grip now. Mary?
Mary: Oh yeah. I've got a grip. I'm gripped.
(She had a white knuckled hold on her gel pen.)
Me: See, we've all got grips. Do you need help cleaning up your coffee? Seeing as how I've got experience in dropping beverages I'm happy to offer some assistance.
(He gave me the side-eye and wouldn't answer.)
NO MATTER WHAT THE STIMULUS, YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME TO JUMP UP AND DOWN, CLAP MY HANDS, SCREAM AND BE A LITTLE SMART ASSY. ;) YOU'RE WELCOME.